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The time period after a guy orgasms to when he can have another orgasm is called the “refractory period.” During this time, sleep hormones are released, and men feel really tired and usually don’t want to have any more sex. Women are not built that way. For most women, after they have an orgasm, they could have another one right away. Not fair, right?
The refractory period of time varies greatly from man to man. It usually takes between 15 to 50 minutes, but if you are young, it may not take any time at all. For older ones and other guys, it can even take a day or two or even longer. I had a friend who was born into a very strict religion, so when he was a teenager, every time he masturbated, he felt guilty. His refractory period was really long – a week or two – because he was trying to suppress his sexual urges and was trying not to masturbate.
Some will say that you cannot do anything to speed up the refractory period, but that is not completely true. But the real truth of the matter is that if your overall health is better, then your sexual health will be better too.
The other controversial thing about this topic is that in eastern philosophy practices like Taoism and Tantra, they believe that when you spill your semen, you lose vital energy. And although it may not be true that semen contains energy, it is true that most guys feel very tired after ejaculating. So, regardless of how it works, eastern practices may help. It may be worth it to look into those practices because they teach men how to have multiple orgasms.
What? What the heck Mike? Did you just say multiple orgasms?
Yep. I sure did. How can they possibly do that?
Before I get into it, let’s discuss what you should be doing in order to improve your overall sexual health.
This is simple, but it’s important. You have to eat right. Eating more vegetables and lean meat can go a long way to improve your sexual health. I know guys who cured their erectile dysfunction and also premature ejaculation from simply eating more veggies and less red meat. But I also know guys who don’t eat that well and who do good in the sack.
Like I always say, do what feels best to you. If you are drawn to organic foods, then do it. If eating more veggies seems right, try it. The point is that diet can have a major impact on your sex life.
Again – common sense. I’m not going to spend much time on this because I have written a lot about it before, but exercise is vital to your sexual health, and to your refractory period. Get in the gym and lift heavy weights to build muscle and increase your testosterone levels. Do cardiovascular exercise like running or walking or biking at least 3 times a week. Exercise is vital to your sexual health.
Get Enough Sleep
If you are tired when you have sex, you’re not going to perform well or recover quicker. Get enough sleep. Sleep time varies, but most need 7 to 8 hours.
Kegel exercises are the technique where you squeeze your kegel muscle. There are two kegel muscles, one just beneath your balls and the other one near your anus. I have gone into great depth discussing how to exercise it before, but basically all you have to do is to squeeze it over and over throughout the day in order to build it up. In order to figure out what muscle I’m talking about, all you have to do is to take a piss and then purposely try to stop the flow. Those muscles that do that are your kegels.
If you have done your kegel exercises that I have discussed before, then you should have an easier time getting your man stick up. Your recovery time should be quicker because you should be able to get it harder more easily.
Another thing that you can do is to buy a cock ring. They fit over your penis and some are meant to fit around your scrotum or balls too – make sure you know which type you buy. You can get them at adult toy stores for pretty cheap, and they can make your dick harder quicker and more easily.
Just be sure to not overuse them. You can hurt yourself if it gets too tight or if you keep one on too long.
Tantra or Taoism
This is what I really wanted to talk about because it’s an interesting subject. In Tantra and Taoism, they claim that men can have multiple orgasms. It’s not quite what you think. What they say is that the orgasm and the ejaculation are two different and separate things. Orgasm happens first, followed by ejaculation.
The dry orgasm that they encourage you to have allows for no semen or only a small amount of semen to be released. It doesn’t quite feel as good as an orgasm that includes ejaculation, but it’s very close and you don’t lose your energy. In this form of orgasm, you get to a level of about 7 out of 10 towards ejaculation, but you get to stay there and ride the wave of a different kind of an orgasm.
This keeps your body from releasing those sleep hormones, and then you can enjoy sex for a lot longer.
Really, that’s what we are after anyway, right? We want to be able to enjoy sex for as long as our partner does.
The advantage to being able to do this is that you never lose your energy. You can have sex for as long as you want, and there is no need for a refractory period because you never ejaculate.
I have tried it a few times with pretty good results, and it did allow me to extend my orgasm as long as I wanted. What I like about this is that your energy does seem to build rather than be depleted.
But it takes a tremendous amount of self-control to get to the point where you can have an orgasm without ejaculating.
Honestly, women love it because they feel that they can ride the wave of pleasure with you, and connect with you more, etc. It is definitely something to look into.
The key is to be able to be excited and relaxed at the same time.
I recommend a book by Mantak Chia called “The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know (1st)”, but with this caveat – don’t take it too seriously. Get the good stuff and get out. Don’t get all freaked out when he talks about only ejaculating for procreation purposes. Your other option is to Google “Tantra” or “Taoism” and find out more, or go on YouTube. YouTube has a ton of free stuff on the subject.
My belief is that if you want to have great sex, you have to have a good, solid foundation of health first. But Tantra and Taoism adds another layer of intrigue and interest that may perhaps be something that you really get into and enjoy. Women love it because it sort of makes sex a spiritual experience, and that’s what a lot of them crave.
Regardless, go easy on yourself and never beat yourself up for taking too long to recover. What women are bothered most with their guys is not what is physically happening with you, but your RESPONSE to what you are going through. In other words, if you make a problem or an issue about your recovery time to her, she’s going to be upset that you are upset. Get it? Don’t make an issue of it to her. Take that recovery time and use it to her advantage by pleasing her in other ways.
It’s all good – learn to let go of the worry.
P.S. If you liked this article you will love my Secrets to Lasting Longer guide.