Have you ever started having sex, only for it to end early?
You know what I’m talking about, everything is going well and then POP – you orgasm.
Your partner rolls over, your cock goes soft, and the night is over.
Completely unsatisfied, you start looking online for how to last longer in bed.
You find many professionals (like doctors and scientists) who recommend the squeeze technique, so you decide to try it.
The squeeze technique is all fun and games until you actually use it.
Why The Squeeze Technique Sucks
The squeeze technique is when you’re having hot passionate sex, thrusting deep in your partner…and when you feel a quick orgasm coming, you pull your cock out and SQUEEZE hard right below the head, to stop the orgasm from happening.
Obviously, this isn’t the best solution if you want to last longer.
It’ll interrupt the flow of the sex, and your partner’s arousal will go down. If she was getting close to orgasm, she’ll get frustrated that her arousal was so high, only to be let down by stopping.
The squeeze technique also doesn’t feel good. Whenever I try it, my cock gets angry at me and hurts a bit.
The squeezing force has to fight against the blood and semen flow in your cock, so no wonder it doesn’t feel good. The semen wants to get OUT, and when you squeeze, it has to stop and make a U-Turn. No good.
Instead, I prefer to apply my 5 Pillars of Sexual Health. We don’t have time to cover them all today, but here are three techniques that work much better than the awful squeeze technique.
Start becoming a better lover by building your personal confidence as a lover.
Many men actually practice negative affirmations, bad thoughts like:
“I’m so bad in bed”
“No way my wife is satisfied”
“There’s nothing I can do to last longer”
All of these are nonsense, and should stop immediately.
What you tell yourself becomes reality. If you say bad things to yourself, bad things will happen.
Start treating YOURSELF like you would treat your best friend. Would you tell your best friend, “haha you suck at sex. Loser.” No!
Instead, start telling yourself good things. Treat YOURSELF like YOUR BEST FRIEND.
Some of my favorite affirmations are:
“I am always relaxed and calm”
“I am able to please my partner for as long as I like”
“Being a great lover comes naturally to me”
What I want you to do is recite these to yourself during the day in your head.
I also want you to say these out loud. Vocalizing things is much more powerful than thinking them.
Everyday, wake up, look in the mirror, and for 10 minutes, say good things about yourself.
Start with the suggestions above and then make your own. “(Wife’s name) loves what I do in bed.” You get the gist.
This will not work overnight, but after 30 days of consistent practice, you will be a much more confident lover.
Edging is another one of my 5 Pillars of Sexual Health. It’s probably the most important.
If you haven’t heard of edging before, it’s the ultimate way to prepare yourself for sex. All of the other techniques are good, but you need to use edging to tie it all together.
You practice edging by jerking off until you get close to orgasm, then stopping or slowing down so that you don’t ejaculate everywhere.
Think about arousal as an “arousal ladder,” from one to ten. Level Ten is where you are going to orgasm. Level One is where you’re completely flaccid, just chilling, sitting in the park enjoying a nice picnic.
Now think about where you want to be during sex. You don’t want to be 1, 2, or 3 because your cock won’t be hard.
You don’t want to be 9 or 10 because then you’ll be sitting right on the edge of orgasm.
The optimal arousal level for sex is somewhere around Levels 6 or 7. This allows you to be hard for sex, enjoy the experience, but still prevent you from orgasming too fast.
If you can practice masturbating for 30 minutes or so, you’ll be able to have sex just as long.
Not all positions are created equal. Sex isn’t as simple as penis in vagina. Every position creates its own friction, sensation, and experience.
Think of sex positions as tools in your sex toolbox. Some are used for specific jobs, but some are best left in the toolbox until they’re needed.
If your goal is to last longer, you want to find the right tool (position) that allows you to last longer.
Conversely, if you want to hit your woman’s G-Spot better, you pull out the right tool for that job.
Right now we’re talking about how to last longer, so let’s figure out which positions are best for that goal.
The first thing to look for is who’s doing more of the work. Excessive physical effort will make you orgasm faster, so we want to minimize dominant positions that require max effort.
These dominant positions include two of every man’s staples: missionary and doggy style.
In both of these, you’re required to do a lot of humping, which will cause you to come faster.
For me especially, doggy style is one that I need to watch out for. There’s something about the way that my cock is shaped that makes the sensation on the head SO STRONG. With doggy I need to really watch out, or save it for the grand finale.
Now that we’ve minimized how much work you’re doing, we look to maximize your pleasure, while keeping your orgasm under control.
For this, my favorite position is cowgirl (girl on top).
This is the best position for lasting a long time. You’re on your back, pillow under your neck, completely relaxed. She’s on top, going to town, getting tons of pleasure (even though you aren’t doing much work).
The icing on the cake for this position is that you can control her movement. If she’s going too fast, and you’re getting close to orgasm, you can grab her hips (or anywhere on her body), until your arousal is back under control.
(Check out this link if you want to learn more positions for lasting longer in bed.)
Put all three of these three techniques together, and you’ll be able to last longer in no time.
Want to learn more? Affirmations, Edging, and Changing Positions are all covered in explicit detail in my book, Big Mike’s Industry Secrets to Lasting Longer.