If you want to last longer in bed, the best way, hands down, is to practice edging.
I learned about edging back in my porn days.
Once I was part of the “inner circle,” I started discussing tips and tricks with the other porn stars. The other guys suggested edging and said it made their performance 100x longer and stronger.
I had to try it. After I did, I was instantly hooked.
There’s a lot of nonsense out there on how to increase your stamina in bed. Working in the industry, I’ve tried a lot of them, but none of them worked like edging does.
Pills have nasty side effects.
Numbing creams take away pleasure.
“The Squeeze Method” can be painful, doesn’t work.
The “Stop and Go Method” doesn’t work either, especially when there’s a camera on you.
Through trial and error, I found that edging is the best way to last longer in bed. Follow my plan below, and you’ll see results within the first week.
What Is Edging?
Edging is the practice of masturbating to the point where you’re ABOUT to orgasm…then backing off. You stroke until you feel like you’re going to blow, then you slow down or stop. Continue this for 20-30 minutes to gain stamina.
Edging is also known as “peaking,” or the “start and stop” technique. We’ve written before about how “start and stop” are bad for sex, but take note that edging is different. Edging is performed by yourself, with no partner.
Even if you’re an absolute rookie, and you can’t last more than 5 minutes in bed, you should practice edging. Edging is useful if you can last five minutes or fifty minutes. It’s all about training yourself to control orgasm.
Is Edging Bad?
Are there any side effects of edging?
Well, besides the fact that your dick skin might get a little chaffed from all the sex you’ll be having, no.
There are some reports of guys on the internet who say that edging has ruined their orgasm control. They now orgasm anytime they get hard, thanks to edging.
Sorry guys, but that is NOT because of edging, that’s because of jackrabbit jerk-off sessions, where you jerk off as fast as possible. If you can’t control yourself when you jack off, you need to change your technique, slow down, or start to use lube.
Proper edging will accomplish the opposite, and make you last much longer. If you feel that you’re orgasming too fast, SLOW DOWN! Edging is a productive habit when done right.
There are also rumors that edging can cause wet dreams. This…is a possibility.
Wet dreams happen when you don’t ejaculate for a while. If you don’t orgasm at the end of your edging sessions, edging increases the possibility of having a wet dream.
To fix this, make sure you are properly orgasming a few times a week, with or without a partner. Wet dreams happen at different times for different guys, so learn what your body does and prepare accordingly.
Another claim that edging is bad comes from people who masturbate or watch porn too much. Yes, porn and masturbation can provide problems when used to excess, but I do not recommend that here. What you’ll find below is actually a well rounded, holistic approach.
Lastly, since edging is exercise, you can definitely have fatigue.
You can tire out your erection, your kegel muscles, and of course, you can run out of semen.
Erection fatigue is when your body is simply tired and can’t get an erection. Long edging sessions can exhaust your circulatory systems, and then you won’t be able to get an erection.
Kegel fatigue is when you tire out your kegel muscles too much. This can occur with bad form, excessive training, or inadequate rest. If you’re doing kegel exercises, make sure you get enough rest in between sessions.
Then there’s semen. If you orgasm all the time, you won’t be able to get it up as much. Your body will think you’re having sex all the time, and won’t give you an erection, so watch out for that too.
Fortunately, you can avoid all of these by following my guidelines below. Now, let’s dive into the benefits of edging.
Benefits Of Edging
The main benefit of edging is that you will last longer in bed, but there is much more to gain from edging.
If you want to get better at anything, you have to practice. Edging is practice for sex. The more you practice, the better performance you give.
I wish I would’ve known about edging when I was younger. There was a long time when I was really bad at sex, and sort of just stumbled through the motions, because I couldn’t last that long. If I could’ve lasted longer, I could have delivered some mind-blowing orgasms to my women.
Such is life.
The next benefit of edging is that it increases bloodflow to your penis, not only during sex but during your sessions. Both of these help you in bed.
When you have more bloodflow to your penis, the cells are nourished, and the muscle fibers want to expand. What I’m saying is…edging will help your penis get bigger. It won’t magically make you grow 2 inches in length, but it will help your penis appear bigger, firmer, and stronger.
Even if you don’t have measurable size increases, edging will help you get harder erections during sex.
Have you ever seen guys that can get their chest muscles (pecs) to dance? They weren’t born that way, they had to slowly train their muscles to flex like that.
The penis is no different. We learn over time how to get erections, but over time, our bodies tend to forget. Even worse, they’ll remember how, but just get lazy!
This is what happens when you have erectile dysfunction. Your body has determined that having an erection is no longer important to the body, so it stops happening.
Edging trains your body to send blood to the penis, and keep it there, for sexual activities.
Edging could also increase testosterone. Some of my students tell me there’s something about reaching the point of no return, and backing off, that causes them to feel like a man. It could be something about sexual energy charging up, but I’m not a monk so I can’t tell you.
Another benefit of edging is that it can help you shoot bigger loads. When you practice edging, semen builds up in your penis. It feels like there’s a big pressure build up in your penis, waiting to blow.
Once you start practicing, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Every time you resist orgasm, a little more cum enters your penis, in preparation for orgasm. You resist and resist and resist, until you finally shoot your massive load!
Lastly, edging will help you better please your woman. Most women require at least ten minutes of penetration to achieve orgasm. If you can’t last this long, you’re depriving her of that WOW feeling orgasm delivers.
Practice edging, and you’ll be able to give her multiple orgasms during sex, in no time.
How To Edge
Edging is just like masturbation, but unlike jerking off, it shouldn’t be viewed as stress relief or a hobby. This is exercise, so take it seriously!
Go to a room where you can be alone and undisturbed for at least thirty minutes. Make sure it’s calm and quiet, so you can relax. You want to focus on the practice, and not on being disturbed by someone walking in on you.
Get a good lubricant. This step is crucial, so make sure you use lube. None of this dry death grip crap!
Whatever lubricant you want to use, go for it. Some guys have special preferences, between oil and water-based…it won’t affect your edging.
I like to use coconut oil for masturbation and sex because it’s warm and moisturizing, but it can make a mess on clothes or towels. For edging, I usually use a water-based lube from the pharmacy, since it cleans up easily.
Now that you’re in a place with the lube on hand, the final preparation step is to get a stopwatch or timer ready.
You can use a timer if you have a predetermined goal you want to hit. For example, if you know you want to get to 12 minutes, set a timer for that, and stop when it goes off.
If you want to go for a record, use a stopwatch. This way you can focus on lasting as long as humanly possible. When you’re done, turn off the stopwatch and see how well you did.
Both of these have their pros and cons but it’s more up to personal preference. I like using a timer and doing goals. This way I can do my edging, get up, and leave.
Using a timer also lets me stick to a routine. I’m at the point now where I can reach the target time of 20-30 minutes pretty easily. If i used a stopwatch I’d be edging all day!
When I edge, I sit down with a goal in mind. My goal includes how long I want to last, and if I should orgasm or not. My choice in both of these depends on what’s going on with my sex life.
Most of the time, I try to edge for 25 minutes, without orgasm. This lets me keep some “gas in the tank” for my wife, while also keeping my stamina high.
I’ll go into the bedroom, set my timer, do my session, and get on with my day. Easy!
To learn how to properly edge, we need to discuss the “arousal ladder.”
The Arousal Ladder
Now, through all this talk of edging, you might be thinking “how can I stop myself from orgasming?”
A lot of guys think that cumming “just happens.” This is very far from the truth.
The reality is that we slowly walk closer and closer to orgasm as we’re masturbating or having sex. We start off completely unaroused and flaccid, and slowly move towards orgasm. We climb what is called “the arousal ladder.”
I like to think about arousal as the “arousal ladder,” with each rung related to a certain level of arousal. Here’s what the arousal ladder looks like.
- Completely not aroused – Having a picnic in the park, relaxing…
- Slightly aroused – A hot chick walks by…” wow…nice…” you check her out
- Slightly more aroused – The chick drops her lipstick and bends over to pick it up, showing off her DD-cup breasts and fat ass
- Aroused, but can easily stop – She looks at you and licks her lips…
- Significantly aroused – Walks over and grabs your crotch…
- Very aroused – Gets on her knees and asks, “can I please blow you?”
- Extremely aroused – she continues, “will you blow your load all over my pretty face?”
- Extremely aroused and enjoying it – she’s deep-throating you right in public, for everyone to see…
- Exceedingly aroused – you’re about to cum, managing to hold on, taking in the last few moments of pleasure…
- The Point of No Return – you finally orgasm, and ejaculate all down her throat. She swallows every drop and cleans you up, leaving no soldiers behind…
Whew…that was hot.
Anyway, the goal of edging is to keep yourself somewhere between levels 7 and 8.
Anything below 7, and you risk losing your boner. Keep it around 7 to have a strong erection, and to provide optimal pleasure to your partner.
Any level above 8, and you risk blowing your orgasm! The key to success with edging is to understand the point of no return. This is the moment when after that, you’re orgasming, no matter what.
The mindset you need to have during edging is to keep your emotions in check.
Once you can properly identify how you feel at the point of no return, you can start to understand more and more the steps that lead up to the PONR. When you’re at a 7 or 8, you’ll see the signs that mean you’re pushing towards orgasm, and learn to back off.
How to Improve Your Edging
You should be edging no matter how long you last in bed.
To properly edge, you have to last 20-30 minutes. If you can’t last that long masturbating, you should still try to extend the amount of time you edge, even if you don’t last 10 minutes.
When I started out, I could only go 15 minutes, but quickly learned how to last longer.
If you can only last 10 minutes, focus on improving by one minute at a time. Keep a log of your sessions, so you know how much you’re doing. Do 10 minutes today, 11 minutes tomorrow, and in no time, you’ll reach 30 minutes.
If you’re really struggling to last longer, here’s techniques you can use to reach that time period.
- Take breaks – Masturbate for five minutes, then stop. Lie there, breathe deep, think happy thoughts, and let your arousal drop. This break can last minutes, it doesn’t matter.
- Change technique – if you’re masturbating with your whole hand, change it up and do something different. You can use the “OK” hand sign, or just rub your head with a few fingers.
- Decrease intensity – if you’re using a strong grip or high speed, tone it down a little bit. This will produce less sensation for you but will help you last longer. Remember the goal here is time, not intensity.
- Practice kegels – start doing kegel exercises. 5 sets of 10 reps, 3 times a week, will work wonders for controlling your orgasm.
- Don’t use porn – this increases the intensity and difficulty, by making you more aroused. Edge without porn until you get a hang of things.
Taking breaks is absolutely allowed. If you can only last…5 minutes? Don’t worry about it!
Practice for as long as you can, and take a break. Aim to have your entire session last thirty minutes, including breaks. Use this time to meditate and relax.
The primary goal of edging is to get you to last longer, but the real goal is to get you in touch with your penis and all the muscles down there.
Edging Vs Nofap: Why Edging Is Better For Your Sex Life
Some guys come to me and ask, “Big Mike, I thought if I wanted to be better in bed, I should stop masturbating? Now you’re telling me…to masturbate???”
NoFap is good, and definitely has its time and place, but it’s definitely not for everyone.
If you find yourself struggling to get it up for your partner, and masturbate regularly, then you should look into quitting masturbation. If you just want to improve your performance and have no problem with ED, edging is the way to go.
The problem with NoFap is that it does not prepare you for sex. If anything, it makes you worse at sex, since you aren’t getting as much practice.
That’s how you should think of edging – practice.
If you want to get better at anything, you need to practice. Sex is no exception.
Unfortunately, some men aren’t able to have sex for hours a day to practice, because sex involves…someone else. Edging doesn’t require anyone but you.
Even if you have a girlfriend or wife, you’re not always able to have sex for 20 to 30 minutes a day, as I suggest for edging. They’re busy, not in the mood, exhausted from the day, or you can’t fit it in your schedules.
I get it.
If you can have sex with your partner, I suggest you do it as much as possible. Take your time and use the techniques mentioned in my guide to last longer.
Even though having lots of sex will help you last longer, it won’t fix all of your problems. If you want to improve at something, you have to take it step-by-step.
Sex is a very intense experience, and it’s definitely harder to get all of that practice in. With sex, you reach the point of no return very quickly, and can’t notice it as well. There’s so much going on during sex, that it’s easy to blow your load without thinking about it.
Edging lets you focus 300% on lasting longer. You start to notice all of the little things your body does when you get aroused….you breathe faster, sweat more, etc. Orgasming is no longer something that “just happens,” you learn how to watch your body…so you can perform better in bd.
To perform better in bed, you have to learn about the “arousal ladder”…
Should I Practice Edging If I Have Erectile Dysfunction?
The answer is a resounding YES.
If you have erectile dysfunction, it means your body has decided to stop sending blood to the penis to get an erection. Edging helps you train to send and keep blood flow in your penis, so you can have more sex.
What I’m saying is, edging will help you get an erection even when you’re not edging.
However, I want you to take a special precaution with edging if you have erectile dysfunction. I want you to practice edging, but still have enough libido left to please your partner.
To accomplish this, DO NOT orgasm when edging, ever. All of your orgasms should be saved for your sexy-times.
When you’re done edging, you might be very horny. Good! Take that horniness and bring it to your wife.
Also, don’t edge more than is necessary. Do this by edging only on days you don’t have sex. This will allow you to have plenty of rest, no matter how much sex you have with your partner.
Should You Edge While Watching Porn?
Excellent question, but the answer isn’t so simple.
Porn can your edging practice if you have trouble keeping it up.
At the same time, porn can make you come faster because you climb the arousal ladder faster.
There are also many possible side effects of porn addiction, so in general, keep it to a minimum.
That being said, porn can be used as a good tool to make edging more like sex. That’s the goal here, to get better at sex, not masturbation. If porn helps you get better at sex, then do it.
Overall – here’s my official recommendations:
If you can get an erection without porn – edge without porn.
Practice until you can get to 20-30 minutes without orgasming. Then, if you want, edge with porn for increased difficulty.
If you can’t get an erection without porn – use as little porn as possible.
You very likely have a porn problem or ED problem. My suggestion is to ease off the porn as much as you can, while also practice edging.
Watch porn, but keep the intensity low, so look at pictures instead of video. Soft-core over hardcore.
The best porn to watch, actually, is porn of you and your partner. Many of the problems with porn are that it stimulates you into thinking you’re having sex with hundreds of girls. This can be prevented by just watching porn of you and your partner.
Plus, it’s fun to make.
What’s A Good Edging Routine? How Often Should I Edge?
Like most things, your mileage may vary. Younger guys who have more stamina and libido can get away with more edging, both duration, and frequency.
To answer the question, I suggest edging at least 3 times a week.
3 times a week will only take an hour and a half out of your schedule. Even if you’re a busy businessman, you’ll be able to squeeze in a few sessions.
3 times a week is also the minimum amount that will produce results. Anything less, and you won’t learn to last longer. You’ll just be jerking off.
The point of edging is to counteract all of the short sex and masturbation that you have done in your life. If you’re only edging 3 times a week, but jerking off 6 times a week, your penis will still be used to short sessions. The masturbation will dominate, and cancel out the edging.
Try to get edging to be the majority of your masturbation. There’s no reason you should masturbate quickly. Even if you’re in a rush and really have to hurry up, it’d be better to skip jerking off for that day.
If you’d like to practice edging more than 3 times a week, do it. You should edge as much as possible, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your life and sex life.
Edging takes a good bit of time, so please don’t practice so much that you’re late to work and forget to feed your dog.
Edging can also interfere with your sex life. If you struggle with ED, or can’t orgasm more than once a day, edging will stop you from having sex. Make sure you don’t abuse edging so much that you can’t have sex with your partner, that would go against everything we’re trying to do here.
Should You Cum When Edging?
Another great question, that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no.
The simple answer is: you should cum as much as possible without seeing side effects.
As covered above, the possible side effects are that you edge so much you can’t have sex and that you masturbate so much it interferes with your responsibilities and life.
To make sure you don’t do either of these, start off easy. Continue masturbating as normal, but make two or three of those sessions and edging session.
Remember just because you’re doing an edging session doesn’t mean it’ll be this extremely draining 30-minute wank-fest.
Sometimes you last 12 minutes and unexpectedly blow your load. You clean up and go on with your day.
Sometimes, you last 30 minutes, and it feels like nothing. You continue with your day with the feeling of accomplishment in your pocket.
When you’ve been edging for a while, I suggest you cum LESS while edging. The point of this is to prime and prepare you for sex. When you’ve gotten some edging proficiency, you should be saving your cum for actual sex.
Edging During Sex
Now after this entire article, this might seem article, but should you edge during sex?
Like many questions in this article, yes and no.
Yes – you should focus on lasting longer, using edging techniques and stop-n-go.
No – you shouldn’t obsess over the amount of time you have sex, or pull out and spend minutes waiting for your arousal to go down.
The answer is – focus on lasting longer, controlling your tempo, monitoring the arousal ladder, and all that jazz…BUT ALSO focus on pleasuring your partner. Sex is a two way street, make sure you’re giving your wife/girlfriend some love, so it’s not a selfish act.
Edging during sex can absolutely kill the mood. Instead, focus on these moves that will drive her crazy.
In conclusion, edging is the best way for men to improve their sexual stamina. It’s easy to do and is actually pretty fun.
P.S. – I wasn’t going to mention this, but sexual dissatisfaction is ruining marriages.
One of the top reasons for divorce, worldwide, is sexual dissatisfaction.
Many men aren’t able to provide their woman with mind-blowing sex, including toe-curling orgasms, because they fail to last 30 minutes like their woman wants.
After dealing with this problem myself, and sharing my secrets with countless men, I’ve put together a complete system for lasting longer in bed.