Do you suffer from sexual anxiety? And you want to know how to get rid of sexual anxiety?
Sex is a big deal, and it’s completely normal to have some anxiety when it comes to sex. However, some men have so much anxiety, they turn into emotional fools at the very thought of having sex.
If that sounds like you, read on.
I know a thing or two about performance anxiety. Having filmed hundreds of porn scenes, you bet there’s been a few times I’ve been scared to get on camera.
Contrary to popular belief, being a male porn star is not an easy job. If your dick goes limp, or you ejaculate early, you’ll get kicked off the scene…you won’t get paid…and you’ll become the laughing stock of the whole town!
Your reputation and paycheck were always on the line.
So, in my time, I’ve developed these techniques for fighting sexual anxiety.
Lower Your Expectations
The most important thing to do is lower your expectations. I know this is seems like “woo woo” nonsense advice, but it’s true.
Why do you have to have an eight inch cock, that can last 2 hours, and ejaculate a gallon-sized cum shot? There’s no reason that you have to be a sex god.
Women love sex. It’s a fact.
And you can bet that if you’re in a relationship, she loves having sex with you, because of your intimate bond. She doesn’t really care how good (or bad) the sex is. She’s happy to be there with you.
Quit Watching Porn
I suspect one of the reasons why sexual anxiety is so rampant is because of porn. Porn sets up massive expectations for how men should perform.
Unfortunately, porn is fake. I know this, first hand.
You think porn stars last long? We do, but a lot of actors use numbing spray, or last-longer condoms, to fake their stamina.
I personally never used any tools, but they’re widely used in the industry.
The girls’ reactions are also fake. They’re called actresses for a reason. You really think they moan and yell like that in real life?
No. It’s for your viewing pleasure.
Pornstars do last long, but it’s because we work really hard to improve our skills.
If that doesn’t work, try talking yourself up.
Become Your Own Hype-Man
To get over your sexual anxiety, I want you to talk yourself up.
This is called, “Positive Affirmations,” by gurus such as Tony Robbins.
This technique seems goofy, but it works. When you talk about yourself in a positive manner, your words will transform themselves into reality.
This can be applied to all areas of your life, including sex.
To do this, look in the mirror and say some of these lines:
“I am a sex god.”
“I am an amazing lover.”
“My woman loves having sex with me.”
“I am in control of my orgasm.”
Say these over and over for ten minutes or so, every day, and over time, your confidence will increase.
You can also do this by talking during sex. Talk dirty, but in a fashion that improves your swagger.
“You love my cock, don’t you?”
“You need my sex.”
“You crave my cock.”
Say this kind of stuff to your girl, and it’ll turn her on and turn you into an animal.
Have More Sex
When you worry about something (anything, really), it’s probably because you don’t have much experience doing said activity.
A common example is public speaking. Everyone fears public speaking, because it’s a scary thing to do…and we never do it.
To become a better public speaker, you practice public speaking.
To become a better lover…have more sex!
I don’t know how much experience you have, but whether you’re young or old…having more sex will improve your sexual confidence.
Especially if you’re in a new relationship, having sex might seem like a weird thing to do. It takes getting used to. This is a new person, and you want to make sure they like you.
So…have more sex! When you have more sex, you’ll learn what turns her on, what makes her wet, and what makes her scream in pleasure.
That’s how you get rid of sexual anxiety.
I’m gonna let you in on one of my secrets…having a second round of sex is the key to my success.
Sometimes, the first round is…disappointing. Maybe I cum early, or my wife isn’t really into it.
In that case, I wait to have another round of sex. In the second round, I always last longer, and since my wife is sufficiently turned on, the sex is wild.
Then, the next time I have anxiety, I think back to that second round. I remind myself of when I’ve rocked her world. If it’s possible once, I can do it again.
If you can’t have two rounds of sex because your refractory period is long, here’s how to shorten it.
Focus On Foreplay
Lastly, remove your sexual anxiety by taking the time to do more foreplay.
This accomplishes a few things.
First of all, you’ll relax. Foreplay is relaxing, almost meditative, and spending time kissing, holding, and playing with your partner will build your connection with her.
Then, when sex begins, you’ll have less anxiety.
Remove any expectations from your mind, and focus on the foreplay. Pay attention to her body, her warmth, and her beauty. This will distract you from your anxiety.
Secondly, extended foreplay will make her orgasm…especially if you know how to finger her.
Making a woman orgasm is one of the most powerful tools you have as a man. It can turn women into a mushy mess of emotions, overwhelmed by happiness hormones and pleasure.
Make her orgasm, and she won’t care how good (or bad) the sex is. She’ll be plenty satisfied.
If you don’t know how to properly practice foreplay, I’ve got a treat for you.
My friend Alex Allman has put together the ultimate man’s guide to sex. It’s called Revolutionary Sex, and contains every lesson he’s learned through his 25-year sexual coaching career. From foreplay to fingering, cumshots to cuddling, this guide has it all.
Reading real-life field notes from a sex expert will not only improve your confidence, it’ll also make you an infinitely better lover.